By the second year of high school, my friends and I would go to a bar, have a coffee, and light up a cigarette.
We constantly told each other that we were too tough to get addicted while gradually increasing the number of cigarettes.
But that’s not a problem because we can quit whenever we want, right? Right?
Well, fast forward eight years, and here I am, burning through two packs a day.
I actually wanted to smoke more. But whenever I got near or above that threshold, I felt a little nauseous.
Maybe it was psychosomatic. I don’t really know. What I did know was the certainty that I couldn’t live without cigarettes. Life would be boring, empty, lifeless…
I wasn’t crazy. I knew smoking was terrible for your health, and I had used the strategy of willpower.
I have vowed, more times than I can count, to reduce my consumption from two packs down to ten cigarettes, then to nothing.
But soon I’d revert to smoking two packs.
Then I came across this book titled The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr.
I remember looking at it with a sarcastic grin. I was like, “Here we go: another charlatan selling easy solutions, just like the grifters in the weight-loss industry.”
I simply ignored it.
I continued with the willpower method.
The idea was that someday I’d be able to build the discipline to break this habit. The more I tried, the more I failed.
Defeated, I decided to give this book a shot.
Surprisingly, Carr doesn’t ask for much.
His rule is simple: Keep an open mind until the end of the book, and while you read, keep smoking as much as you normally do.
Alright, I can keep an open mind.
So I’m reading, and he is shockingly relatable. He has this easy, conversational style, and even though I started out convinced he was a snake-oil salesman, I find myself nodding along.
I’m agreeing with him… A lot.
It was when I reached page 20 – maybe 25 – that this horrifying realization dawned on me.
If I finish this book, I’m going to quit.
So I quit.
Reading.
I was like, “Nah man, I’m not ready. I’ve got too many problems. I cannot quit smoking right now.”
I went back to my ordinary routine for a long time, until I finally hit the wall. I was sick and tired of being a smoker. The smell, the sheer cost, the fact that I’m enslaved to it. It just fucking sucked.
This time, I was genuinely ready to finish the book.
But first, I needed proof. I went straight to the Amazon and Goodreads pages to scour the testimonials.
Evidently, Anthony Hopkins had used this method to quit!
Awesome.
I’m reading these comments, and I’m hanging on to every word.
Hundreds of people are explaining how they managed to get free in a relatively painless way, and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with hope.
So I read the entire book, burned the last cigarette, and I’m free of this monster.
YES. It was that simple.
However, in the first week, there was a lot of stress. I had some family issues, and a voice told me to light up a cigarette and “push quitting” for next week.
I was like, “Nope, smoking doesn’t relieve stress. That’s a myth. Plus, if I can handle this, the rest will be a piece of cake.”
It’s been over 4 years since I last smoked a cigarette.
None.
The reason it worked is that Carr doesn’t rely on willpower.
He really understands that smoking is an addiction, and like any addiction, it has a certain structure of how it keeps you trapped.
He knows every core belief, every fleeting thought, and every desperate justification you use to keep smoking. And as you read, he seamlessly knocks them down.
But even though he clearly did a ton of research, he writes in a way as if you’re sitting across from him at a bar or a restaurant.
If you’ve ever seen the movie My Dinner with Andre, that is exactly what this feels like. Two people, an intimate, sprawling conversation, and by the end of the book, your entire worldview has shifted.
Now, what makes Allen Carr so persuasive?
It seems like he hypnotizes people. Maybe he does, I don’t know.
But the way I understand it is that he surgically gets rid of all the reasons you have for smoking, and what is left!!
You just… don’t smoke.
Because you see, without knowing, society is brainwashing you. It gives you many beliefs around destructive habits that are plain wrong.
In this case, they tell you smoking is lethal and filthy, but at the same time, they sell it as a magical cure for stress and boredom. Or that smoking makes you look cool – which honestly, it kinda does.
You’re bombarded with the idea that quitting is one of the hardest things you can do, and since you have no reference point to compare it to, you end up believing it.
Now the brain is super adaptable.
If you truly believe that a certain destructive habit [whatever it is] cannot be overcome, then the brain will find a way to live with it.
As you start getting addicted, you’re accommodating your behavior and you’re constantly coming up with reasons to continue.
If you describe those reasons to someone [say a non-smoker], they’ll probably sound irrational, right?
But they don’t sound like that to you because you really believe them.
At some point, you don’t even bother questioning them.
On that aspect of your life, you’re essentially functioning on autopilot.
Carr knows this.
That’s why he doesn’t show judgment at all, which is refreshing because in your everyday life, people judge you. They might fake being understandable, but you can often sense they don’t mean it.
The irony is that those people probably have destructive habits themselves, but haven’t reached the awareness phase.
So he avoids fear. He doesn’t tell you that what you’re doing is harmful; you already know that. There’s no point in terrifying you.
But he seamlessly attacks every reason you do it.
As those rationalizations and beliefs collapse one by one, you’re fundamentally changing how you perceive yourself… You’re not someone who is struggling to quit smoking, but someone who is already a non-smoker.
That’s the kill shot.
By the time you extinguish the last cigarette or pour out the last drink, you aren’t starting a difficult journey. You are already at the destination.
You’re no longer a victim making a heroic sacrifice; you are a hostage who has finally realized the prison door was unlocked the whole time.
You know, my father, brother, and some of my best friends are heavy smokers, and since that final cigarette, I’ve never envied them.
In the beginning, they would look at me with this quiet pity when they lit up, assuming it was tearing me apart to watch them.
I told them I didn’t give a fuck.
And the beautiful truth is, I truly meant it.
