Most People Are Being Persuaded Every Day, and Don’t Even Realize It
That offhand compliment that made you open up?
That viral post you couldn’t stop thinking about?
That product you didn’t plan to buy but somehow ended up paying for?
None of it happened by chance.
This article breaks down the most powerful persuasive techniques used in everyday life, so you can use them deliberately, speak more convincingly, and recognize when they’re being used on you.
Let’s start by…
#1 Avoiding This Sin
For a long time, I’ve been puzzled that some bad individuals have tremendous influence over people.
I don’t use the word bad lightly. But they spread hatred as if their lives depended on it. And it’s not just a strategy to gain popularity by being controversial… In many cases, they’re criminals, misogynistic, racist, or even downright fascist.
However, there’s one thing they are not.
They are not boring.
They know how to craft these grand narratives that pull us in, and we can’t help but engage in their dramas even when we’re just trying to oppose what they’re doing.
Why does this happen? Why do we get sucked into their dramas?
It’s because rhetorical devices are expertly used to feed our hunger for mental engagement.
From the moment we wake up to when we fall asleep, our brains are hunting for something stimulating.
Even when doing nothing, we are replaying interesting conversations, dramas created by the media or people around us, or fantasies about the future.
In other words, we are like that character from the movie Undisputed who says…”I want to be entertained.”
So, you should always think about how to frame your message in a simple and interesting way. This is a core principle in both persuasive advertising and effective communication.
Related: The Only Guide You Need to Influence People
#2 Interrupting to Agree
When someone is making a valuable point in a conversation, you can interrupt them with a compliment or agreement.
It can make them feel validated and more likely to agree with you later on.
You can say things like, ”Exactly. I couldn’t agree more. In fact, not only is what you said correct, but also this is why it’s even more correct. “
So, in key moments of the conversation, you make these quick interruptions that serve as persuasive language techniques and can guide the conversation where you want it.
#3 Break Their Autopilot
Has it ever happened to you that you drove to work, but then you weren’t really aware of how you got there?
Well, since you have done the same route countless times, you have learned to do it automatically.
Look, most of us follow almost the same routine week in and week out.
And most of the time, we operate on autopilot. We are physically there, but mentally we are somewhere else.
In persuasive communication, it’s essential to break through this mental fog. We must ensure we have their full attention. But to have their full attention, we must break their autopilot.
How can we do it?
– We ask rhetorical questions or bring up subjects that are not ordinary.
I’m not saying you should say weird stuff. Just say things that go against their everyday script.
For example, you can comment on something slightly out of place, like “Have you ever noticed how this place smells like vanilla even though they sell no desserts?
– You can make a slightly contradictory observation: “I always hear people say how much they love working from home, but honestly, I kinda miss the chaos of the office.”
Or someone says, “Man, I hate Mondays,” and you say, “Really, I kinda like Mondays. They feel like a fresh start.”
There are many other ways to break their autopilot, like: You can make observations, use humor, make unexpected compliments, and make connections between two seemingly unrelated topics.
These are effective persuasive devices for making the interaction memorable.
And it’s not that difficult. You just have to pay attention to the conversation, and whatever you say… You say it casually and with confidence. There’s no need to make it weird. Just express yourself freely.
#4 Negative Association
This is when you associate a current behavior or mindset with something they dislike or fear.
You might want to do it in a subtle way. But even if you’re direct, it can still work. Because generally speaking, people are very suggestible.
When you make an association that triggers a strong emotional reaction, whether they avoid it or not, it will stick in their mind.
For example, let’s say I perceive myself as a hard worker, but I also procrastinate a lot.
By simply pointing out this inconsistency, it might motivate me to change.
Of course, when you point it out, I won’t like it. I might also tell you that you’re wrong. But eventually, it becomes harder and harder to explain away this huge gap between the belief that I’m a hard worker and the behavior that I procrastinate a lot.
In this case, I might decide to change my behavior or choose to continue rationalizing it.
Either way, your words had an emotional impact.
#5 One Core Idea
As we have learned, we need to keep our message simple so we don’t trigger their reptilian brain.
And the best way to do it is by picking 1 core idea that has the greatest chance of hitting them at both emotional and logical levels.
But here’s the tricky part: where do you even start?
Well, you consider the great forces at play and how these forces have aligned in a way that opens a brief window of opportunity.
These forces could be economic, technological, political, or social.
For example, let’s say you’re pitching a productivity app.
What are the large forces?
The rise of AI, globalization, and other advances in technology.
With that in mind, you can emphasize how the rise of AI enables you to create a tool that helps mid-sized and large businesses triple their productivity. Then, you explain how you’ve assembled a team of highly skilled, remote programmers who can help you build and scale that app quickly and at a reasonable price.
So by framing your idea within these larger technological forces, you’re making it feel novel, special, and urgent.
You’re creating excitement because the idea is new, while at the same time, you’re creating tension… that this opportunity can slip away from their hands.
Never shy away from tension. In fact, lean on it because it’s a crucial thing to keep people’s attention.
Think about your favorite TV show… they have a problem, and they solve it, shortly thereafter, another dramatic thing happens, it’s resolved, and so on.
So when you present a complex idea, there are different ways to persuade people. However, the most powerful approach is to focus your persuasive argument around a single, emotionally compelling message.
You can do this by including these mini-stacks or struggles:Present challenges, create tension, and then resolve them, only to introduce the next twist. This rhythm will keep your audience on the edge of their seat.
#6 One Sentence Persuasion
Blair Warren captured the essence of persuasion in one sentence…
“People will do anything for those who encourage their dreams, justify their failures, allay their fears, confirm their suspicions, and help them throw rocks at their enemies.”
Now let’s analyze each emotional motivator because these are the roots of every effective persuasive technique:
#1 Dreams
We all have dreams and goals for the future, which are very important to us, and we’re constantly working towards them.
So we are naturally attracted to people who encourage these pursuits.
#2 Failures
We all experience failures, and when someone tells us to take responsibility for it and move on is clearly giving good advice right?
However, we don’t really like that. In fact, we are attracted to people who help us rationalize or justify our failures.
#3 Fears
We all experience anxiety and fear from time to time, and it can be very difficult to concentrate on anything else.
So when someone can make us feel comfortable, then we’ll be more receptive and loyal to them.
#4 Beliefs
We all live in a world where there’s a lot of uncertainty. But the beliefs we hold can serve as a reminder that there are some things we can be certain of.
And when someone confirms these beliefs we have about the world or people around us, then we feel grateful towards them.
#5 Enemies
We all have enemies, whether they are people or ideologies, real or imaginary. When someone joins our war, it creates a strong alliance.
When you pay attention to these emotional motivators and tap into them, you instantly become more likable and trustworthy in their eyes.
#7 Become an Expert at Something
Since we were kids, we learned to rely on authority figures for sound decision-making.
Authorities such as parents and teachers were the primary sources of wisdom while we grew up, but they also controlled us. That’s why we’ve been taught to believe that respect for authority is a moral virtue.
As adults, it’s easy for us to transfer that respect to society’s authorities, such as doctors, police officers, and bosses…
We assume their positions give them special access to information and power.
You will encounter resistance if people doubt you’re an expert on the solution or idea you’re selling. But if they perceive you as competent and trustworthy, they will do what you ask them to do.
A research paper from Eric Jaso stated
“In the study, salespersons with high expertise attempted to sell nutraceuticals to customers. The study revealed that the consumers who felt the salespersons were competent were more likely to purchase the nutraceuticals.”
In addition, another study from Cunningham (2008) showed that athletes were better representatives of the energy bars than were the actors.
For example, a well-known athlete is a better endorser for Gatorade than a television actor.
So, how can you establish credibility and expertise?
Well, there are different ways to do it…
– The quickest way is to show your credentials.
For example, when you enter someone’s office, you see that their wall is decorated with degrees and awards. And that can make you trust them more.
But do not tell your prospect about your degrees or awards because it can make you appear arrogant.
And it goes without saying, but your qualifications should match the product you’re selling.
The literature degree won’t help your credibility if you’re selling software.
– Hang out with other experts.
When you associate yourself with other experts, people will perceive you as an expert. Attend different events and get to know and connect with those people.
– Create a website and write helpful articles about the topic you like. You can also increase your online presence by joining Quora. It’s a perfect place to share advice.
#8 The magic bullet
We have seen many celebrities advertising a product, but they are not experts. They’re just paid to say what others tell them to say.
Why do their endorsements sell so many products?
The reason is that we like them, and most importantly, we trust the people we like.
Likability is a crucial part of persuasion.
Understanding what makes someone likable is complex, but some basic rules exist.
For example, we prefer good-looking people… to a disturbing extent.
Various studies have shown that we perceive physically attractive people as more intelligent, stronger, successful, and have higher moral character.
All of this is based only on their physical appearance.
Next, we’re more prone to like and trust people we know personally. A 1999 News poll from CBS showed that 85% of the respondents expected the people they know personally to be fair.
In addition, experiments by Dr Jerry Burger showed that we’re more likely to comply with a request by someone who shares a birthday or a first name. You can make yourself more likable by simply pointing out a similarity. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a date.
Salespeople know this trick. Why do you think they often have a friend from your hometown or children the same age as yours?
#9 Arguing
Every argument has two sides, even if sometimes we hate to admit it.
Whether you are arguing online or offline, you can notice that people tend to think their side of the argument is the only alternative.
They only talk about the benefits of their idea/product. And they feel scared of pointing out a weakness in their ideas.
We tend to choose the safest course… presenting only our side; otherwise, we risk losing traction.
But does this approach work?
Daniel O’Keefe from the University of Illinois did a meta-analysis of over 100 studies to see which are more persuasive, one-sided or two-sided arguments.
He concluded that two-sided arguments were more persuasive than one-sided arguments. But only when they provided counter-arguments.
When discussing the benefits of a particular action, accept that there might be some drawbacks, but then offer counter-arguments that minimize those disadvantages.
You’re overcoming objections before they even raise them.
#10 Fear
Fear is our old friend. It has helped us survive for so long in an unforgiving environment.
At the same time, fear is a very persuasive tool.
Many politicians use fear to influence people.
A study showed that politicians could use fear to manipulate the public into supporting policies they might otherwise oppose.
Manipulation is more likely to happen when the public doesn’t fully understand the issue or can’t overcome the fear instilled by the politician.
We also need to understand that using too much fear can backfire.
Many anti-smoking campaigns terrify people as a way of convincing them to quit. But that seems to make things worse.
Many ad campaigns tried to persuade people by stating the dangers of obesity. But that didn’t have the desired impact.
So, the best way is to use fear combined with a clear solution.
If you want to persuade someone to be healthy, give some scary facts about obesity and then show him a step-by-step guide on losing weight.
#11 Inoculation
Inoculation is a technique that makes people immune to persuasion attempts by exposing them to small arguments against their position.
In medical immunization, weakened viruses are injected into the body, which triggers the production of antibodies in response.
Later, the body will know how to respond when exposed to the more potent virus.
Attitude inoculation exposes someone to weak arguments.
Then, when exposed to a strong argument, the individual already has arguments to use in defense.
Let’s say you want to ensure your teenage son doesn’t smoke.
You warn him that his friends will probably say he’s too scared to try smoking. And that he should say something like I’d be a real chicken if I smoked to impress you.
#12 Storytelling
“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”
– Philip Pullman
Everyone loves a good story. For thousands of years, humans have been telling stories to each other.
It is an excellent tool for persuading people.
There are four categories for finding compelling stories:
1. A time you shined – This story is about something good that happened to you. When everyone told you to quit, but you didn’t listen to them, it turned out great.
2. A time you blew it – This is about when something terrible happened, and it was your fault. Sharing a personal failure will make people trust you, and they might share a similar story.
3. A mentor – Was a person who significantly impacted your life? Then tell a story about him/her.
Telling a story of admiration and gratitude towards that person communicates that you’re humble.
Also, people will assume you share the same qualities and values as your mentor.
4. A book, movie, or current event – There are millions of stories from articles, books, or even movies that might help prove your point.
