A charismatic mental state is vital, but you should also be aware of obstacles that stand between you and charisma. You have to learn to prevent or deal with different charisma obstacles.
When you have an important meeting try to wear something comfortable and try not to sit facing the sun. When sunlight hits human eyes, they automatically tighten or narrow in action. To other people, your face may show anger or disapproval.
They may not know your physical discomfort and misinterpret your tension as a reaction to what they said.
What should you do?
Prevent-We all have heard the famous expression: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”.
Try to plan to ensure that you are going to feel physically comfortable. Make sure that the place you are going to meet is not too noisy and comfortable.
Is the meeting very early or very late? Signs of fatigue can quickly show up in peoples body language as lack of enthusiasm.
Be aware- When you are aware of the physical problem you can take action, and deal with it.
Take action and explain- If you find something that is making you uncomfortable, do something about it.
When the physical discomfort cannot be alleviated, take a moment to explain that something is bothering you.
Have you ever been in a situation when you partner stopped texting or returning your calls?
Your brain circulates different scenarios or explanations, obsessing why they become silent.
Or, sometimes when you are waiting for an exam response. You better fail then wait anxiously, at least then you’d know.
Our inability to tolerate uncertainty can cause some problems. It can cause us to make rash decisions leading us to feel anxious.
Our minds are uncomfortable with uncertainty. It is a legacy of our survival instincts.
It is worth learning how to handle uncertainty because it increases charisma.
Also, the ability to be comfortable with uncertainty is one of the strongest predictors of success in business.
Try the responsibility transfer technique
Relax, and close your eyes.
Take 2-3 deep breaths.
As you inhale, imagine drawing clean air toward the top of your head.
As you exhale, let the air whoosh through you, washing away all worries and concerns.
Pick an entity—God, Fate, the Universe, whatever may best suit your beliefs—that you could imagine as benevolent.
Imagine lifting the weight of everything you’re concerned about— This interaction, this day—off your shoulders and placing it on the shoulders of whichever entity you’ve chosen. They’re in charge now.
Visually lift everything off your shoulders and feel the difference as you are now no longer responsible for the outcome of any of these things.
Everything is taken care of. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy whatever good you can find along the way.
When you feel anxious about the outcome of a situation, try the responsibility transfer technique.
Consider that a more powerful entity will take all your worries from you.
Imagine you are on your way to an important job interview. As the time of the interview approach, your internal critical voice will attack. It will fill you with self-doubt, past failure memories will flash before you. Anxiety rises, and if you don’t know how to handle it will influence your performance.
Athletes will tell you that a bad mental state will affect their performance no matter how well they are prepared physically.
Self-criticism is one of the most significant obstacles to charisma. We all experience it, from the student to the CEO of a great company.
It is the lack of confidence in your ability to perform something. Sometimes is the fear that we are not good enough.
Michael Uslan, the producer of every Batman movie, still get that feeling occasionally when he is in the studio. He said, “I still have this feeling that one of the security guards might come in and throw me out.”
For some people, with great responsibility comes greater self-doubt. Because the cost of failure gets higher and higher.
Our negative feelings are a product of our most useful survival mechanism.
Anxiety and fear exist to push us to do something, to resolve a problem or get out of the situation. They are uncomfortable because they are designed to be nervous.
Try this technique to handle these emotions
1. Feeling negative emotions or internal discomfort is a natural part of life. We all without exception experience it. Try to remind yourself that it is only a mental discomfort. That it is a by-product of our brains survival mechanisms.
Sometimes we say: “Why me? Why is this happening to me?”.
Not only we feel bad, but we feel bad about feeling bad. There are 7 billion people. Do you think you are the only one experiencing this?
Multiple people are experiencing the depression, the shame, the sadness at this moment.
It is not wrong feeling, it is normal.
3. Think of others who have gone through this before
Try to find people around you that have been through tough times before. Or search for people who faced unbelievably difficult situations, and in the end, they won. They made it possible.
Sometimes our mind will present us with a distorted view of reality. The reason is that our brain tends to focus on the negative. Our brain considers negative things as necessary. Remind yourself that thoughts are not necessarily real.
There have been many times when you thought a situation would go bad, and it turns out great.