How to create charismatic mental states

When you create the right mental states, your confidence will increase, and you will radiate power and warmth.

1. Visualization

It is a fundamental technique in everything you do. For decades, professional athletes have used visualization.

They often spend hours visualizing every detail, every movement. They would imagine themselves doing everything correctly.

A Formula 1 pilot will first try to race on the new track in their mind. The Same thing is to every sport.

Mental preparation is a standard practice in Hollywood. The most famous stars use it like Meryl Streep, Robert DeNiro, Leo Di Caprio…

An actor has to control their body language to make the role more convincing. But, you cannot control the whole body language. So, the actor tries to feel the characters’ emotions, to be him.

Try this exercise at home

Close your eyes and relax

Remember an experience when you felt triumphant. When you won a competition, an award or anything.

  1. Hear the sounds in the room, the words of approval, or applause.
  2. See people smiling and their expression of warmth and admiration for you.
  3. Feel the congratulatory handshakes.
  4. Experience the warm glow of confidence rising within you.

Do you feel more confident? Try to imagine pictures more vividly when you try the next time.

Visualizing is a potent tool. Try to practice every day or every time that you need to give a good performance at your school, your work or for a job interview.

2. Gratitude

It is an excellent antidote to negative feelings such as resentment, neediness, and desperation. Gratitude can be a superb charisma conduit, and it will give you immediate access to confidence and warmth.

How to access gratitude:

Count your blessings- A new day, a loving spouse or husband, a child, a unique talent…

Don’t focus on what you don’t have- A lot of people spend too much time focusing on what they don’t have, instead of what they have.

Be humble- Remember that no matter what you have accomplished in your life, you have equal value as the person sitting next to you.

Remember: Gratitude is not an optimistic approach in which you ignore the bad things in life. It is more where we focus our attention. We all have and will face life difficulties, but when we focus on our gifts of life, we gain a feeling of hope and well-being.

3. Goodwill

Have you ever been with someone who you felt indeed had your best interests at heart? How did that feel? You likely experienced nice, warm feelings.

When you genuinely want the best for someone, you feel more connected to them. It shows on your face, and the others will perceive you as someone full of warmth.

When you use goodwill every day, warmth, kindness, care, and compassion will show up in your body language.

Goodwill will trigger the release of oxytocin and serotonin, both feel-good chemicals.

One simple and effective way to start is to try to find three things that you appreciate someone.

4. Compassion

You understand their feelings, and you wish the best for them. We have a natural tendency for compassion. It is typical of our brains.

Your willingness to focus on others’ well-being is all you need to change your body language in a positive way.

How to practice compassion for someone:

Imagine their past– What if you were born in his circumstances or their family situation. Everyone has a story to tell, and some stories may break your heart.

Consider that if you have experienced the same thing you would become like him/her.

Imagine their present-Try to put yourself in their shoes. Try to understand the emotions they might be holding inside.

5. Self-compassion

It is when we show warmth for ourselves, especially during difficult times.

Sometimes we may think we are a good listener and have developed an interest in other people. But, sometimes we wonder “Why would people like me? Even I don’t find myself likable.”  

Is possible for people to have high self-confidence but a low self-esteem.

When our inner critic points out the imperfections, it will often make us feel that everyone is doing better than us.

You should recognize that everyone has experienced difficult situations at some point in their life.

Self-compassion helps us to forgive ourselves when we fail, its what prevents internal criticism take over and show on our face.

To develop self-compassion try this technique:

Close your eyes and take three deep breaths. As you inhale, imagine drawing masses of clean air toward the top of your head.

Then let it go through you from head to toe.

Think of a moment in your life when you performed a good deed, generosity or showing courage, however great or small. Focus on that memory.

Think of someone that is big, mythical or actual- Jesus, Buddha, Mother Teresa, Dalai Lama.

It may be someone that has compassion for you. It can also be a loved person.

Imagine their kindness, warmth, and compassion. Feel the warmth radiating toward you.

Feel them forgiving you for everything you think is wrong.

You are unconditionally forgiven, and you have a transparent emotional state.

Feel them accepting as you are. At this stage you are perfect.

Even though you may feel a little awkward, you will notice that throughout the day you are more present. You are better able to connect with others and enjoy pleasant moments of life.

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