There are situations in our social lives, where you don’t have to be persuasive. If you don’t get along with someone, you can just filter them out your life and keep people that are positive, and that lift you up.
In certain situations, particularly in your work environment, you are going to work with people who disagree with you. So you need to know how to be persuasive against obstinacy.
Here are five steps that Obama follows very well. Obama has shown these charisma skills come naturally to him, and we have a lot to learn from him.
1-Introduce the problem
The first step is to introduce the problem that you have. If you need people to change, or whatever you are doing is not working.
You have to show that to people and relate the pain to the status quo.
2-Handle objections before people bring them up
You do not want to have to wait until after you talk to people to say. ” Well, you didn’t cover this or that,” or “How are you supposed to do this”? You need to handle any objections preemptively.
You need to put yourself in the shoes of the other people you are trying to convince. Why did they think it is impossible for them to change? Why did they think it isn’t a good idea for them to change?
You need to come up with a reason why those objections are not valid. If you do that, you will leave the people who do not want to change without a way to argue your points, so it is critical.
Get in their shoes and think of the other objections that they might come up with.
We have associated problem with pain. We deal with disagreements. Now what we need to do is to convince people that the course of action that we want to take is consistent with their current identity. With the type of person that they are and the type of person that they want to be. It is a logical extension of their existing value system, not a derivation from it.
You need to make people feel like it is part of their identity to change. And the way to do that is not by preaching them, showing them statistics, you give them ownership of the argument.
You can do that by saying that your argument or your concern is valid, and except this, we need to do this…
4-Show an explicit detail, what it should like if things went well with your new plan. So that you don’t have people running away from a status quo of the plan, but you have them running towards something that is exciting.
If you are trying to get people on board, you cannot drag them. You need to say,”I need your help,” and ask at the end because it is an ask. You cannot make anyone do anything that is not what persuasion is.
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